


it's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you

by StarlightDragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, F/F, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Historians, Libraries, Light Angst, M/M, Matchmaking, Professor Castiel, Professor Sam, Sastiel Big Bang 2016, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8884924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightDragon/pseuds/StarlightDragon
Summary: College professor Sam Winchester has a reputation for always finding the perfect dates for his students - but he's never been able to find a date for himself. That is, until one particular student of his starts meddling with his personal life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey look!! i haven't published anything in what feels like forever (although the next few days should bring more fics!!) so here's a thing i wrote for the sastiel mini bang :) it's my first time writing sastiel tho i've shipped it for a while now (multishipping is life) so i hope i did okay with these two <3 and yes the title is from a high school musical song because i love high school musical with my entire being 
> 
> there is art for this fic drawn by the amazing [emmatheslayer](http://emmatheslayer.livejournal.com) [(link to art!!)](http://emmatheslayer.livejournal.com/407385.html)

Professor Sam Winchester loves Valentine's Day.

This is a well known fact, and anyone who takes his spring semester courses is sure to experience some kind of special celebration around the holiday. Whenever Valentine's Day fell on a day when Sam held class, he decorated the room with streamers, brought snacks and cards with cheesy messages for all his students, and generally made sure everyone had a time to relax and not do any work whatsoever. 

But it went further than that, too.

There were legendary stories around campus. Two students in their senior year had been dating for three years now because they'd taken one of Sam's introductory history classes back when they were freshman. They'd seemed like completely different people, moving in unrelated circles, but Sam had made absolutely sure they were paired on a partners project, and they'd started dating a month later. The man seemed to have some kind of gift. If he hadn't been so busy attempting to get rooms full of students as excited about the Revolutionary War as he was, Sam could probably have had a highly successful career as a matchmaker, or some kind of online dating site tycoon.

As it was, he was perfectly happy playing Cupid for as many students as he possibly could, and he loved seeing happy couples walking around campus, smiling brightly, holding hands, knowing that he'd brought that little bit of happiness into their life. And like all the professors, he held open office hours every week, supposedly for students to come see him and ask any questions they had about the lecture material or the homework. 

But unlike the other professors, the students who walked into Sam's office were more commonly there to ask questions about their love lives, and take some of Sam's expect advice.

Claire Novak was one of these students.

She knocked on the door in the middle of February, early in the morning when the office was quiet. She'd taken one of Sam's classes the year before, too, so he was a familiar face. And even though he looked like kind of a dork with his sweater vest and thick rimmed glasses and long hair pulled into a bun, he was a good professor. A fair one, who genuinely wanted his students to do well, and that was a rare thing round here.

"Come in," Sam called out, shaking a bag of caramel Hershey's Kisses into a bowl on his desk and setting them out ready for his visitor.

Claire strode into the office and closed the door behind her, plopping herself down in the chair in front of Sam's desk. She glanced down at her knees, not saying anything.

Sam folded his arms on top of the desk and leaned forward, giving her his full attention. "You're quiet today. That's a little out of character. Usually I can't get you to shut up in class."

Claire shrugged. "Yeah. Well. Usually I don't have feelings for someone who I know I have no chance with, ever."

As usual, Sam’s instinct was to reassure her, to tell her that of course she had a chance with this person, because how could anyone not see how great she was? But, he reminded himself, that wasn't exactly helpful. 

"Tell me a little more," he said instead.

Claire let out an exaggerated sigh, banging her head on the table. "Do you know Alex Jones? She's got this pretty dark hair, and this face that's... soft, but kind of sad at the same time. And she waits outside your classroom cause her boyfriend Henry's in your class."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I think I know who you're talking about. She wears his sports jacket?"

Claire rolled her eyes. "That's the one. Fucking cliche. What is this, high school?"

"Watch your language," Sam chastised. "So I'm guessing that you like her?"

Claire glanced awkwardly around the room, refusing to meet Sam's eyes, suddenly acting as though she'd really like to be anywhere but there. Sam smiled, waiting patiently. 

Finally, Claire burst out, "Yeah, alright, fine! Maybe I do! But I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this, cause like I said, not gonna happen."

"Because she's with Henry?" Sam confirmed, keeping his voice calm despite the shouting.

"That and she pretty much hates me! She's my roommate and maybe I haven't always been that great to her, like, making fun of her, taking her food, not going out of the room when Henry comes over. But I'm shit at all this stuff! I don't know how to get to know people, or how to share a closet sized room with another person, but it'd be fine if I hated her, cause then I could be shit to her and not feel bad! But she's lovely and nice all the time and she's so pretty and I don't know what to do about it."

Sam decided to risk a small chuckle. "Well, perhaps not taking her food would be a good start. People tend not to like that."

Claire rolled her eyes. "I'm poor and I was hungry."

Sam raised an eyebrow. He'd been there in his own college days, and he understood, even though he couldn't condone the behavior. "Right. But she's in the same position you are, so you have to think about her too. If you want to start building a better relationship with her, then maybe you should... make a kind of gesture. And buying her some food to replace what you took, or cooking or baking something for her, could be a good example of that. A way to tell her you’re sorry without having to say it out loud." He didn’t need Claire to tell him that she wasn’t the kind who found apologizing easy.

Claire nodded slowly. "I guess I could do something like that. I'm not gonna do anything dumb like bake her pink frosted cupcakes, but I make pretty good pasta."

Sam grinned. "Okay, that'd be an excellent start. Now, assuming there's nothing wrong with Henry-"

"There's loads wrong with him! He's a fucking poser and he dresses terribly and he talks like he's in some young adult romance novel, it makes me want to throw up just listening to him."

Sam chuckled again, and was pleased to see that Claire didn't look too mad about it. "Right, but those are things  _ you _ don't like. They're not inherently bad things. Right now, Alex is happy with him and their relationship is good, so it won't help anything to try to split them up. Cliche as it sounds, the best thing you can do is be her friend. If she has positive feelings towards you now, that's far more likely to develop into romance in the future when circumstances change."

"What if I'm too fucking impatient for that?"

"Then you have to ask yourself if she's special enough for you to wait for, even if it means you might be unhappy for a while first. And there's no wrong answer there, but you're the only one who can decide."

Claire stayed quiet for a long time after that, fiddling with her hands and staring down at her lap. 

Finally, she stood up. "Yeah. Guess you're right."

She turned towards the door and didn't thank him. Sam didn't mind; he hadn't really been expecting her to. He knew just the fact that she'd come to talk to him was a big deal for her. 

"Come back and talk to me again any time you need to, yeah?" he couldn't help adding.

Claire didn't reply, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and opening the door - but when she was halfway out, she abruptly turned back and stared at him. "What about you?"

"Me?" Sam frowned.

Claire sighed and leaned against the doorway. "Yeah, you. You spend all your time giving relationship advice to all the kids here, but do you ever actually date anyone yourself?"

Sam spluttered, thrown completely off guard by the question. His own love life was something he tried hard not to think about these days. Part of the reason why he was so set on helping everyone else with their relationships was because he liked the idea of helping them avoid the mistakes he'd made in the past. "I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to talk to my students about that."

"Bullshit." Claire swung the door closed behind her and sat back down in her chair, all of her usual confidence back. "I told you the details of my shitty love life, I don't do that to anyone, I should at least get to hear your sob story in return."

Sam groaned, and in that moment he understood firsthand how difficult it was for students to find exactly the right words, to get up the courage to tell their stories out loud. But as much as he hated to admit it, Claire was right. He spent way too much of his time not talking about things like this, and maybe it would do him some good to finally get it out.

"Alright, fine. If you really want to know. When I was younger, college, grad school, the like, I used to spend a lot of time looking for the right person for me. I was so sure they were out there, and I dated a lot of people looking for them, but after a while I realized that I was really just hurting people that way. And it felt like I always ended up making people's lives worse by coming into them."

"So, what, you just gave up and stopped dating people?"

"Essentially, yes. I didn't think it was worth the risk. I still love the idea that there's a perfect person out there for everyone, but now... I try to focus on helping other people find their person, rather than just spending all my time thinking about my own."

When he finished and met Claire’s eyes again, she was grinning, a slightly evil spark in her eye.

"What are you grinning about?" Sam asked warily.

"I have a plan," she replied.

\--

By the time anything happened, Sam had forgotten entirely about Claire's plan, whatever it might be. It was morning, a few days later, and Sam had got up early to go do some research in the campus library. He'd gotten a call the previous night saying that some books he'd ordered in a few weeks back had finally arrived, and he'd been so excited about them that he just couldn't wait any longer. He collected the books from the front desk and headed to his favorite corner, a table behind the stacks next to the big windows on the second floor where he could watch the sun rise.

There was already somebody sitting there. A man was bathing in the early morning sunlight, his eyes (behind his thick reading glasses) focused intently on an old book clutched between his hands. He didn't have anything else with him but the book, so it seemed like he was just there reading for pleasure. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen anybody doing that in this library.

Sam approached the table, feeling almost nervous, and hovered behind his usual chair, not quite brave enough to put his books down. 

The man glanced up at Sam, his glasses slipping down his nose. His eyes were bright blue, the bluest that Sam had ever seen, and he had dark hair that was combed and parted neatly, as well as just the tiniest bit of stubble. He wore a grey argyle sweater vest over a white shirt and blue tie, and he definitely looked far too old to be a student at the university, even a grad student.

"Sorry to bother you, but are you..." Sam swallowed and tried again, shuffling from one foot to the other, not sure why he was going all tongue tied. "Would it be alright with you if I sat here and worked? I, uh, I wouldn't bother you, I'd just sit here quietly, but fair's fair and you were here first so if you'd rather I go somewhere else..."

The man didn't blink at all while Sam spoke. He just squinted slightly and stared right into Sam's eyes, or maybe into his soul, Sam wasn't sure. He had the most piercing stare Sam had ever experienced.

Finally one corner of his lip quirked into a smile, and Sam let out a nervous breath.

"Of course. I apologize if I have infringed on your area of the library," the man said in a gruff voice, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

Sam shook his head. "Not at all. I don't come here every day or anything so it's not like I have a claim to it, and there's plenty of room for two here. Or more! Plenty of room for six people if they all wanted to be here, for some reason." He grimaced, shaking his head at himself. Why was he even still talking? "Sorry, I'll leave you to your book."

The man slid an old fashioned leather bookmark in between the pages, closed the book and set it down on the table, then extended a hand to Sam. "No need for apologies. Professor Castiel Milton. Theology."

"Professor? Here?" Sam blurted. He thought he knew all the professors who worked at the university, and he was sure he would have noticed Castiel if they'd ever had any contact before now.

Castiel nodded. "Yes, I was just recently given the position, which is why I do not entirely know the library etiquette yet."

"Right. Right, yeah, of course. Well, congratulations. I'm sure you'll, uh, do really well here," Sam said awkwardly, realizing he was still hovering and holding his own backpack in one hand. He realized too late that he still hadn't introduced himself. "Professor Sam Winchester. American history."

Castiel's face split into a real smile for the first time. "Really? History was my undergraduate minor. If you are not too busy, I would be very interested in hearing about your research."

Sam blinked. "Really?" He wasn't used to anyone showing any interest in his research - even his students who were majoring in history tended to zone out when he started getting too involved in his discussions of the Schuyler family and their impact on America during its early days of independence.

"Of course," Castiel frowned, gesturing for Sam to take a seat. "I cannot imagine a better way to spend my morning."

\--

Sam and Castiel both had to leave the library a couple of hours later to teach their first classes of the day, and although they'd shared a fascinating conversation about Sam's research, they didn't make any plans to see each other again. And yet, over the next few weeks, they seemed to run into each other a surprising amount. For two people who worked in entirely different departments, their schedules seemed to be remarkably similar - Sam ran into Castiel one afternoon while getting a sandwich from his favorite food truck, and a few days later, they found each other staffing the same student event.

But, consistently, the place they met most often was in the library. Sam had hit a new wave of inspiration with the paper he was working on, and he was rushing to finish it so that he could submit it to some journals in the spring, so he found himself coming to the library most mornings. More often than not, Castiel was there - curled up close to the window wearing some kind of adorably nerdy outfit involving argyle, cable knit or both, some sort of old text clutched between his hands. Sam had no idea how he could read such things for fun, but he always seemed completely engrossed.

After the first day discussing Sam's research, they mostly didn't talk, just sat in silence as both read and worked at the same time. The library was usually quiet and still when they got there, and often the sun hadn’t even risen - but as the time wore on, the place started to fill up with students rushing in to print (or more likely finish) their homework before classes started, and that was usually when the two of them made their excuses and moved on.

One Friday morning as Sam was packing up his things to leave, Castiel asked, "Do you have a class to teach right now?"

Sam shook his head. "No, my first one’s not until twelve. I just figured I'd move to my office, the noise is getting distracting in here."

"Would you like to go out for breakfast with me?"

Sam blinked, staring at Castiel. His mind immediately jumped to 'date'. He hadn't been on one of those in years, and he wasn't sure it was a good idea. But at the same time, he liked being around Castiel. He was a calming presence - he never seemed to be stressed or in a hurry about anything. He just existed, quietly, peacefully, in Sam's orbit, and he made Sam less scared about things, too.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Did you have somewhere in mind?"

Castiel stood up, arching his back and stretching his arms up behind his head with a small, contented groan. "There's a French place a few blocks from here that does wonderful fresh pastries. My brother runs it. I believe you may enjoy it."

Sam nodded. "Alright, let's go."

It was spring, and the trees were just beginning to flower. Blossoms and green leaves danced above Sam and Castiel's heads as they strolled through the grounds on their way to the pastry shop, and Sam was filled with the sudden urge to reach out and take Castiel's hand, feeling just like he had when he'd taken people out on dates in college. He forced himself to bury the feelings. He'd moved past that now. He was going to have a nice breakfast with a colleague of his and not think about romance, not in the slightest.

Castiel opened the door for Sam and led him to a table, holding out his chair for him.

"Thanks," Sam mumbled, somehow managing to stumble over the leg of the table as he sat down.

A man with golden hair approached their table and slapped Castiel on the shoulder. "Cassie, hey, good to see you! And you've brought someone with you, I see? Who might this be?" he teased.

Castiel blushed bright red and hid his face. "Gabriel, he is simply a colleague of mine, there is no need to-"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Sure, bro, that's why he's the first person I've ever seen you sitting with in here." He turned to Sam. "Hey, I'm Gabriel Novak, I'm his older brother, which means it's my job to make his life hell. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Coffee would be great. Black. Thanks."

Gabriel left without asking Castiel what he wanted, so Sam had to assume that he'd memorized his order years ago, and after a minute Castiel resurfaced, his face still bright red and matching the tie he was wearing today.

"I'm sorry about him. Perhaps it was a bad idea to bring you-"

Sam shook his head. "No, no, not at all. I get it. I've got an older brother too, so I know what it's like."

"He also likes to make fun of you?"

"Yeah, always has, ever since we were kids. God, the shit he put me through when I decided to become a professor, you have no idea. Still brings it up every time the family gets together. I love him, but sometimes I'm glad we don't see each other all that often, you know?"

Castiel nodded. "I understand. When Gabriel first opened up the cafe, I used to work here part time to make money while staying in school. You can imagine that things didn't always end well."

"No? What kind of stuff did he do?" Sam chuckled, leaning forwards. He barely noticed when steaming cups of coffee (Castiel's looked like a latte, with an artful hand giving the finger drawn on the top in chocolate powder) were placed in front of them.

"Where do I begin?" Castiel grinned, his smile lighting up his face in the way that always drew Sam's eye. "He liked to meddle in my dating life. For example, every customer who came in here who seemed to be even vaguely my type, he would try to set me up with them somehow."

Sam pulled a face. "Oh God, I can't even imagine. Guess I'm lucky there. Dean would rather know absolutely nothing about the people I'm dating."

"If only Gabriel would take some lessons from your brother," Castiel shook his head in resignation. "And yet, instead, I was forced into around twenty awkward dates at his hands. He used to have a specific table for me around in the corner, and he would set it up with a white tablecloth and a rose and a candle, and he'd fake a French accent and play mood music as he came to take our order. It would be so obviously and painfully different from every other table, anywhere in the room, and yet, he would convince himself that I was guaranteed to find love that way."

"But you never did?" Sam grinned, because as much as he loved sitting in silence with Castiel, he thought the guy's stories might just be even better.

Castiel held up his left hand. "Do you see a wedding ring? No, it never worked."

Sam's heart beat faster and he frowned, trying to calm it. "So what was the worst date you ever went on because of that?"

"Ah, there's no contest there," Castiel laughed. "One of the last ones I went on, before I finally quit my job here and told Gabriel that if he ever meddled in my love life again I would dump anchovy paste into his cake batter, was with an English man who moved here for graduate school. I believe he realized fairly early on what my brother's game was, so he decided to have some fun with him. Whenever my brother came within earshot of us, he decided to talk very loudly and openly about rivalries between the British and the French, and about how much he hated French people and everything they stood for, particularly French pastries. I believe my brother was seconds away from kicking him out of the bakery, and would have done so if he wasn't so intent on finding somebody for me to sleep with."

Sam snorted into his coffee. "Fuck, that sounds like the kind of thing that'd be hilarious to overhear but less good to actually be involved in. Sounds like your brother finally met his match."

Castiel nodded. "Yes. The two of them ended up married."

"You're kidding me?"

"I rarely joke, Sam. It is the worst possible ending to a blind date when your date ends up going home with the person trying to set the two of you up."

"I'm so sorry." Sam tried to sound sincere, but couldn't stop himself from laughing.

"It was a long time ago. Now, would you like to look at the range of pastries here?" He stood up and offered his hand to Sam, helping him to his feet. Sam couldn't help but feel disappointed when Castiel dropped it a moment later and led him to a glass cabinet under the counter.

Castiel gestured to the display. "Everything here is baked fresh today, and Gabriel will warm it up for you if you so desire, which I would highly recommend. The dough melts in your mouth, I've never been able to discover his secret."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you have plenty of talents of your own that he could never hope to live up to," Sam smiled, surprising even himself. He used to pull lines like that on people all the time, but he'd decided to stop doing that a while ago. Yet apparently he’d never forgotten how to do it, because the words had just slipped out like he'd intended to say them all along.

Castiel looked flustered. "I, thankyou, Sam. I appreciate that."

Sam smiled to himself and shifted imperceptibly closer to Castiel, inspecting the range of pastries, and he didn't move away when Gabriel came to ask the two of them what they wanted a moment later.

\--

Sam was floating in a bubble throughout the rest of classes that day. He told himself it had nothing to do with the morning he'd spent with Castiel, because surely if he didn't think about his feelings, that meant that they didn't exist. But even so, he caught himself smiling every few seconds for absolutely no reason, and small things that usually would have bothered him passed by without him even noticing them.

Claire Novak was in his last class of the day. She usually didn't show up on Friday afternoons, clearly having better things to do, but today she was here and in the front row - she even answered several questions that Sam put to the class, which was a pleasant surprise.

After the class, she stayed behind, putting her things away far more slowly than was really necessary. She was still in the classroom once everybody else had left, and seemed to be dawdling.

"Claire? Everything alright?" Sam asked, sitting down on his desk and putting his briefcase down next to him.

"Yeah," she replied - the kind of long, drawn out 'yeah' that said there was more she wanted to add.

"Alright, so what's new since we last talked?" Sam prompted.

Claire sighed, mimicking Sam's pose and swinging her legs as she tried to find the words, or the courage.

"Alex and Henry broke up yesterday night."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "And you're not at home with her comforting her? How did trying to become friends with her go?"

"It went well. We talk a lot more now, we cook dinner together some nights. It's nice. But I don't think she sees me as someone she wants to, like, hug and watch sad movies with after a breakup."

"Then this is a good opportunity for you. Maybe she doesn't see you like that right now. You guys are still in the early stages of your friendship. But you have plenty of time to change that. Small steps, that's what it's all about. If I were you, I'd let her know that you're there for her if she does want to talk. Don't push anything, but be nice, show her you won't laugh at her if she does want to talk feelings - she might be worried about that, given your opinions on her relationship in the past."

Claire nodded. "Yeah, it's not like I've always been that supportive of her and Henry."

"Exactly. Which makes this the perfect chance to show you've changed. You don't want to try anything romantic yet, since rebounds are hardly ever a good idea. But this is a way to prove to her that you want to be her friend in bad times as well as good."

"I'm shit at advice, though. That's why I'm talking to you instead of figuring out what to do for myself," Claire pointed out, staring up at the ceiling.

Sam smiled. "You don't have to give her advice. Just listen to what she has to say and tell her you're here for her if she needs anything. All that cheesy stuff you hear in movies, yeah?"

Claire laughed. "Sure. I'll do my best to say shit like that without sounding too sarcastic."

"You can do this, kid. Doesn't have to be much. Just the thought will mean a lot to her."

"My God, you're cheesy." Claire rolled her eyes, and the conversation seemed to be over, but she stayed sitting on the table, not moving.

"Yep," Sam agreed, and then, after a long pause where Claire just stared at him - "Is there anything else you need?"

She paused for a moment, as though considering what to say. "Do you know Professor Castiel Milton?" she asked in a rush."

Sam blinked, because he definitely hadn't been expecting that. "Uh, sure. Yeah. We've met. Why, is he one of your professors?"

Claire nodded. "Yeah, my dad was super into theology, so I took Milton's class as an elective. I was just wondering what you thought of him is all."

Sam narrowed his eyes. There was something strange going on here. "He's a good guy, I like him. Why?"

"No reason." Claire averted her eyes.

"Claire, you might think you're good at being subtle, but I've dealt with a lot of students, and you're really not. Tell me what's going on in your head."

Claire sighed, banging a hand on the table. "I was just trying to do you a favor, that's all!"

"What do you mean?" Sam frowned?"

Claire fiddled with a strand of her hair. "Well, after we talked last time and you said all about how you haven't dated anyone for a long time, I was like, I need to find someone who Professor Winchester can be with. And then I was in my theology class and I realized, Milton's perfect. He's single, he's almost definitely into guys, and he seems similar to you, and like someone who wouldn't be too much drama. So I kinda told him where you hung out. And tried to make something happen there."

Sam froze, his eyes widening, his head spinning. Had she really just admitted to - no. No, this couldn't be happening, it wasn't possible.

"You... you set me up?"

"Well, yeah, but not in a bad way! I was just trying to do you a favor, since you always do stuff for other people!"

Sam grimaced. "Yes, I see that, but when I help people with their love lives, it's because they've asked me to. People come to me for advice and I help them. And even if I occasionally do things like pair people for a project, it's still... I'm not giving them information about each other, I'm not manipulating them, it's my job to give people project groups. And you just..." Sam was finding it difficult to breathe, his vision blurring.

Claire stood up, her hands clenching, and she looked almost angry. "What the hell are you so angry about? That I decided to do something nice for someone for once? You're the one who told me to be nicer, I don't get it, I just thought you deserved to be happy too!"

"Okay. Okay. Let me try to explain it." Sam sighed and shook his head, trying to compose himself. He felt bad for getting mad at her, and he knew she hadn't had bad intentions, but... "I don't know how, but somehow I always caused bad things to happen to people that I dated. And I got so caught up in the idea of finding someone to spend my life with, that it took me a while to realize that I was just hurting people and being selfish. I pressured my girlfriend Jess into moving in together before she was ready, I ran out on my girlfriend Amelia to get a job on the other side of the country because a guy I liked in college but never got a chance with asked me to, and then I was too overprotective of Brady and I didn't trust him around his ex. So when I got a job here, I decided, fresh start. I'm not going to let myself do things like that to people anymore. And the best way to do that is just to stay single. Focus on my work and my students."

Claire listened to him, staying quiet for maybe the longest he had ever seen her be, sitting back down on her table and giving him her full attention. Finally, when he was done with his story, she offered him a small smile. "Shit. I don't really know what to say."

Sam shrugged. "You don't have to say anything. I just figured you should know why I was getting mad."

"I mean, I don't know what to say except for what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" Sam frowned. "Claire, that's no way to talk to your-"

"To my professor, whatever, I don't care. It sounds like you don't talk about this to anyone so I'm gonna tell it like it is, okay?"

Sam stared, because whatever reaction he'd expected to his story, it wasn't this. Then again, this was Claire Novak, and he generally had no idea what to expect from her, so he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. "Um. Sure?"

"Right. Okay, so you had a few shitty relationships when you were younger. That doesn't make you special. My boyfriend in ninth grade cheated on me with his dad's best friend. My girlfriend in twelfth grade dumped me in the middle of the dancefloor at prom. Big fucking deal, it happens to us all, and if a useless cynic like me can still go fall for someone and actually try to make something happen with her, then an actual decent person like you definitely can. Like, seriously. It's been a long time since you made those mistakes, you've probably changed. You're not going to ruin Cas' life just by going on a few pastry dates with him. Give things a fucking chance, yeah?"

"I-" Sam stared at her, completely lost for words. "I-"

"Gonna take that as a 'yes, I'll go ask him out,' alright?"

"You said you weren't good at advice!" Sam complained, slamming his hand on the table. "You're not supposed to-"

"Yeah, well. You made me have feelings and shit and try to be nice to someone when I told myself that I wouldn't do that anymore, so I'm gonna do the same back to you, and you're going to fucking deal with it, alright?"

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Go talk to Alex. Let me think about this for a bit before I make any decisions."

"Good enough for now. But I'm not gonna wait around forever, I'm gonna talk to you again soon."

Sam shrugged, and put his head in his hands as Claire sauntered out of the room, her backpack slung over one shoulder.

He couldn't believe he'd just got called out by a twenty year old student who had only turned in one homework assignment all term.

\--

Sam was about three seconds away from not going to the library the following morning - or at least from going to an entirely different table, possibly in the basement, possibly in the janitor’s closet. Anything that meant he wouldn’t have to face Castiel. But, he realized on the walk through the main doors, not seeing Cas wouldn’t be able to stop him from thinking about Cas. And since he probably wasn’t going to get any work done either way, he liked the idea of getting no work done but having Cas nearby a lot better than getting no work done and having Cas several floors away and worrying about where Sam might be.

That logic totally made sense. Yep.

Nibbling on his own lip with his nerves, Sam jogged up the stairs, taking them two at a time and striding towards his usual corner. He tried not to seem nervous as he approached Castiel, visible through a small gap between the stacks, not even reading today, just gazing out of the window with a peaceful expression on his face. “Hey there, Cas.”

“Good morning, Sam,” Castiel said with a small smile, not turning around, and yet relaxing back into his chair ever so slightly just because of Sam’s presence.

But Sam couldn’t relax. Not that day, not the next day, not the day after that. As much as he tried to sit down and focus on his research, it seemed far more important to his brain to memorize exactly how that one tiny tuft at the back of Cas’ head could never quite stay tamed and always popped up halfway through the morning, or how the little wrinkles appeared around Cas’ eyes and forehead when he was concentrating intently on his book.

And if Sam wanted to be ready to submit his paper to the Journal of American History for their next round of submissions, it wouldn’t do to be distracted by a cute boy. He always told his students that they couldn’t prioritize relationships over work, and he had to take his own advice.

Which meant either putting an end to these strange morning study dates with Cas - something he didn’t even want to contemplate - or else actually making a move.

Sam shook his head to himself. He was too old for a crush. He’d been spending too much time around college kids.

And he was fucking terrified about what he was going to do.

\--

On Friday morning, Sam made sure to get to the library extra early, before the night security guards had even finished their shift. On his way, he stopped off at Gabriel’s bakery to pick up an order of freshly baked pastries that he’d placed the previous day.

“For my students,” Sam informed him with a completely blank expression, in response to the knowing look on Gabriel’s face.

Gabriel’s face fell, and Sam almost felt bad, but he figured that Cas could tell Gabriel the truth in his own good time, if he wanted.

Once he got to the library, he heaved his and Castiel’s table out of the way, stashing it between the stacks. He placed the chairs on top of it, and on the empty floor space in front of the window he laid down a picnic blanket, setting out plates and glasses on top of it, even decorating for the occasion. Sam pulled out a pocket mirror and adjusted his bow tie, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. For the first time in a long time, he felt a little self conscious about his clothes. Maybe he needed to invest in an actual suit.

On the other hand, Cas dressed worse than he did, so maybe Sam didn’t have anything to worry about.

The waiting was the hardest part. More than once, Sam was on the point of packing everything up and going back to the way things were, just him going through his life, making plenty of friends but refusing to take anything further. Each time, he managed to stop himself from shredding the white roses he’d left out between his fingers, breathing deeply, counting to a thousand in his mind, telling himself that when he got there, Cas would arrive.

Castiel showed up when Sam was still at fifty-six, and Sam was caught off guard.

“C-cas! Hello, uh, good morning, uh, it’s nice to see - I mean, thanks for - I mean, how are you?” Sam tripped over his words and cringed, pulling a face at himself.

Castiel stood, frozen still in front of the blanket, looking like he had no idea what to do here. “Sam?”

“Yes! It’s me. Uh, hi.”

“I can see that it’s you, Sam,” Castiel frowned. “But what is happening here?”

Sam shifted from one foot to the other, feeling immensely awkward. “It’s…”

Suddenly, he regretted every choice he’d ever made. This had been a stupid, ridiculous idea. What the hell had he been doing, taking advice from a college kid who didn’t know anything about his life aside from a few anecdotes he’d yelled in her face? “You know what? I don’t even know, I just found this stuff here, maybe we should move to-”

“Sam,” Cas cut in, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder and gripping it tight. “Please… just tell me.”

And in that moment, Sam knew he’d been gone from the moment he’d first shown up in this corner of the library and seen Cas basking in the sunlight. He knew there was no way he could refuse Cas anything.

“So… you said that your brother always used to try to set you up on dates in the bakery. And I know you like the bakery, cause you took me there, but I know you don’t like him interfering in your life, so… I figured I’d bring the bakery to you. And that we could have a breakfast picnic where nobody’s going to disturb us. Especially not anyone who’s going to try to argue England versus France with me. It’s just gonna be you and me.” 

Sam glanced at Cas, gauging his reaction. It was impossible to read. But at least Cas was listening, letting Sam take his time, not interrupting him or trying to run away.

He continued. “Because, shit, okay. I like you. A lot. And I’m terrified of doing something to hurt you. But if you would do me the honor of going on a date with me… it would mean a lot to me if I could have a chance to treat you well, and to be someone… someone a lot better than I used to be.”

He gestured to the plaid picnic blanket he’d laid out where their normal table would be, scattered with white roses, coffee (made just the way Castiel liked it, this time with a heart drawn on the top in chocolate powder) and pastries laid out in the middle, spring sunlight cascading through the window and spotlighting the scene.

Castiel blinked at Sam, and then looked down at the heavy vintage book he was holding in his hands.

“Well, I don’t suppose I’m going to need this, then, am I?”

Sam frowned, trying to figure out exactly how that was the first place Cas’ thoughts had gone, and then he burst out laughing.

He stood up and gently took the book from Castiel’s hands, their fingers brushing ever so slightly as he did so. He put the book down on the ground, as carefully as he could, well out of the way of their picnic. “Here. The book can wait, but these pastries aren’t  going to stay warm forever. And I know you like them best that way.”

Still looking a little uncertain, Castiel slowly sat himself down on the blanket, crossing his legs and staring down at the fluffy cinnamon roll in front of him like he’d never seen one before. 

Sam bit his lip. “Cas, is everything okay?”

“Of course, Sam. It’s just…” Cas gave a tiny shake of his head. “It has been a very long time since I’ve been on a date. Since those days where my brother set me up, in fact.”

Sam sat down next to Cas and shook his head. “I promise you, the last date I went on was worse than the last date you went on.”

“How so?” Castiel asked, his eyes wide and curious.

“I’ll tell you someday. But for now, maybe we should talk about something lighter. A more typical first date topic.”

Castiel still looked absolutely terrified. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“When you were a kid, what was your dream job?”

Cas looked startled once again. “That’s your first date topic of conversation?”

“Uh, yeah.” Sam grinned shyly and blushed. “Do you know Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler? They graduated last year?”

“With a 2.00 GPA exactly after being on academic probation for their first three and a half years. Of course,” Castiel chuckled.

“Yeah. I introduced them to each other with that question. They answered it the same way. They wanted to be ghost hunters.”

Castiel laughed, looking relaxed for the first time since he’d arrived. “You’re not serious.”

“I never joke when it comes to the people I’ve set up,” Sam said with a half smile and a raised eyebrow. “So. Are you going to answer the question?”

Cas blushed bright red. “I, uh. I wanted to be…” He mumbled something under his breath that Sam couldn’t hear.

“What? Didn’t quite catch that.”

“The angel on top of the Christmas tree,” Cas mumbled.

Sam let out a snort of laughter. “You what?”

“I was five! And I went to a private elementary school and there was this huge wood panelled hallway, and at Christmas they put up the tallest tree you’ve ever seen in your life. And the angel on the top was so pretty and sparkly and never had to do math problems and never got pushed over in the playground, and I… “ He shook his head, almost apologetic.

Sam couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, imagining a tiny Castiel - already in thick glasses and a sweater vest - staring up at the angel on top of the tree. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Makes me wanting to be a hairdresser sound almost boring.”

“A hairdresser? Really?”

Sam tugged the hairband out of his hair and let it fall in shiny waves around his face, shaking his head back like they did in shampoo commercials. “Because I’m worth it.”

Castiel covered his mouth with his hand as he giggled, and for a moment Sam could see the wonder in his eyes that he must have had as a small child.

“I have to hand it to you. That question did indeed work. I feel far less nervous now,” Castiel smiled.

Sam just gave him a knowing look.

“Here,” he grinned, picking up the cinnamon roll and holding it out to Cas. “Have something to eat.”

The two of them ate their way through all the pastries, exchanging conversation between bites, and finished off their coffees. By the time they were completely done, the library had filled up with the buzz of early morning chatter and life, but still nobody had tried to invade Sam and Castiel’s corner. Sam glanced at Cas with a small, nervous smile, and saw that he had a tiny lick of jam from a strawberry danish pastry clinging to the corner of his lip. And, well, it would have been simply rude to let Castiel leave without getting cleaned up…

Sam cast his mind back to the last time he’d ever kissed anyone. It had been years ago. They’d both been crying. They were saying goodbye, and both of them had been a mess. That didn’t exactly say anything about how this kiss of Sam’s was going to go…

But then he remembered every person who had ever walked into his classroom lonely and had left hand in hand with somebody else, every couple who he’d seen trade a soft kiss when they sat down next to each other in the lecture hall, and maybe… maybe Claire was right. Maybe it was his turn.

And knowing that if he didn’t do this now, then he possibly never would, Sam leaned forwards and pressed his forehead close to Castiel’s, reaching round to cup his cheek with one hand as he let his eyes fall closed and his lips part, pulling Cas in the final few inches until they met.

Sam had forgotten what it felt like, in the years in between. He wasn’t quite prepared for how good it would feel to have another pair of soft, only very slightly chapped lips melt against his own as the two of them each let out a soft, desperate sigh, their heads spinning, no longer able to tell whether they were sitting up or lying down or hanging out of a helicopter in a thunderstorm. And, in a way, Sam thought that kissing Cas might be just as terrifying as that last one. And in another way, it seemed like the easiest thing he’d ever done in his life.

\--

“I knew who you were.’

“Hmm?” Sam asked, swinging Castiel’s hand lazily between the two of them as they strolled through the grass, having both just finished teaching for the semester.

“The first time Claire told me who you were. And made very obvious hints that I should go to find you at the library. I already knew who you were,” Cas informed him, with a secret smile on his face, stopping to gently sniff the buttercups.

Sam enjoyed the view, squeezing Castiel’s hand, still not quite able to believe he was his. The past few weeks had been so... easy. So simple. Everything Sam never quite knew that a relationship could be.  “You did?”

“Of course. Gossip spreads fast among the staff. There are a lot of stories about the Cupid of this school, and I was warned that I may end up being one of your victims. Though I must say, I did not expect that being your victim would involve dating you yourself.”

“Trust me,” Sam shook his head, “neither did I.”

A pair of figures appeared from around the corner, walking down the otherwise quiet path towards them. Sam didn’t recognize them at first, but as they grew closer and came into focus, he saw Claire Novak, tired but smiling, clearly done with finals for the semester.

“Hey, Claire!” Sam waved. “What did you think of the final?”

Claire groaned, hiding her face behind her hair. “You’re gonna curve it, right?”

“Not a chance. I held plenty of review sessions. It’s not my fault you didn’t show up.”

Claire scoffed. “Please. I set you two up. That deserves an automatic A plus any day.”

Sam attempted to remind himself that as a professor, he had to be objective and grade purely based on the course material, but deep down he knew he’d never have the heart to deny Claire her A plus. “That would be highly unprofessional of me.”

“So would dating a colleague.”

Sam narrowed his eyes, annoyed that she always knew to outsmart him. “Fine. I promise you you’re going to do well. I’ll get the grades up by tomorrow, alright?”

“Great!” Claire grinned - and then the grin turned into a smirk. “You know… you guys never figured it out.”

Sam sighed, though it was mostly affectionate. “What did we never figure out?”

“The first day I got Cas to come find you? That was Valentine’s Day. I set you up on the most romantic day of the year and you thought it was a fucking coincidence. Like, how dense can two men get?”

Sam and Cas turned to look at each other, frowning.

“I must say, I haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day for…” Cas thought for a moment, and then shook his head. “I could not even tell you how long.”

“Me too,” Sam agreed. “I think about it for my students, but when I’m alone I hardly notice…”

“Well, you’ll officially never be allowed to forget it again,” Claire announced, satisfied.

Slow, soft smiles spread over both Sam and Castiel’s faces. “I suppose we won’t.”

Claire squeezed Alex’s hand. “And this one says I can never be  romantic.”

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me blogging about how much i love castiel over at [**casandsip.tumblr.com**](http://casandsip.tumblr.com)


End file.
